Ahh..the wedding stuff! I always get so emotional when I watch how people get married. Especially when I watch it on TV: in movies, reality TVshows, etc
I definitely not a sentimental married type of girl that dreamed about her wedding dress since 5 years old. I don’t want to have wedding neither I want kids. But it always makes me feel so strange when I see people doing it. When I see how much it means to people, how happy they are, how truly believe in all of these things…It feels like something very important.
I’ve been on weddings of my best friends. I’ve been through divorces with them. I know that wedding is a day and there is a LIFE that happens after that day. But I always get into this optimistically happy mood when it comes to go to wedding. You never know, it might work out!
Coming summer my very close friends will tight the knot…after 7 years of dating and being through many things together. And maybe for the first time I feel confident and calm be in the process of helping. There are no signs, no weird stuff, no rush and no panic so far. And I feel like it might be a very nice experience and very nice wedding to be on. And I definitely will get emotional! Maybe after this wedding I’ll re-think my views on a whole thing…or maybe I won’t. But I already feel very involved in this and happy to be there. And this means a lot for me!

changes...

Life teaches me a lesson. To be more specific it was a lesson how little things, little changes might help you to see yourself in a very different way.
I just went to my friend’s practice as a model. Masha (my dear friend) is currently studying style and hair art. And she just did one simple thing for her first practice on human beings instead of dolls for practicing – she just made my always-so-curly-hair all straight. I’ve never ever wear my hair straight. It was always curly: more curly or less curly. I looked at myself at the mirror and see more than my new hair-do. I see a person I might be and chances I might be missing just because I don’t want to try new things and wanna stuck with my “waves” for life.

Also, before my hair experience, I did the other very new never-done-before-thing. I bought boots. Yes, you get it right – I’ve never bought boots before. Boots just never compliments my legs. I always preferred short booties or shoes. But this time I simply gave a chance to boots and tried them on. And actually they looked good on me.
I guess, life became tired to wait for me and gave a little push. And it kindda feels like it’s just a beginning of something else. I feel like it’s about time to make changes in many spheres of my life. Just feeling like it’s time to do so.
And it’s surely not because I feel ready! Oh, no. Not at all. If you know me better I’m never ready for such kind of things to do!
But I feel like whatever I want or not it’s coming. It’s naturally coming from the situation I’m in and that I gotta deal with it. I only can hope I’m strong enough to handle this stuff and learning from things that happening or about to happen with me.

For right now it feels like I have no inner resources of will power and sense, but with me it’s always this way. I do things first and wonder where I got strengths to do them. I assume it’s my way to learn myself and learn how I do things in life. And at the end of the day it’s just hope for inspiration to live next day and do my best.